Sometimes you have to let go of your "perfect" plan and trust that God's is going to be much, much better. The first step in trusting God is surrender. These past almost 3 years since we started the adoption paperwork, have been a slow, painful surrendering process. A letting go of control, of how we wanted things to happen and taking one more tiny baby step each day toward God and His plan. I can say with confidence that I am changed. I am not the same person I was 3 years ago.
The old me had a closed fist.
Now my fingers are slightly open.
The old me thought I knew what patience was.
Now I realize that patience is letting God have control of the timing.
The old me thought this was about the act of adoption.
Now I know that God had a journey in mind to change me.
The old me wanted another child for our family.
Now I know that we are providing a family for the child.
The old me thought I knew what was best for me.
Now I am finally willing to let God write His story.
And ultimately, my life is God's story, not my own.
I thought when we obeyed the call to adopt, that things would happen the way we wanted them to since we said YES. I mean, we said YES God, can't you at least allow this process to go the way we want?!?!? No. He is not content to let us write our own story because He knows that His story is going to knock our socks off.
So write your story Lord, we are just along for the ride.