our referral story {THE CALL part 2}

The phone started ringing, our hearts were pounding, our hands were shaking. This was it. We both knew what a HUGE moment this was in our lives. One of the biggest. How often does the anticipation build for 3 YEARS to know who your child is and what they look like? It was a moment we both knew we would never forget.

You tell yourself any number of things during the wait. Things like "She might not be very cute at first, and that's okay". You know, you don't want to build it up in your head too much and then be disappointed, so we were prepared for whatever. Lindsay said she was sending us 3 separate emails one at a time and the first one had some pictures of her for us to see. We refreshed my email several times and then FINALLY there it was. We were shaking with excitement. And then, there she was...

This is THE MOMENT we saw her face for the first time, captured on our computer's camera (and oh my, it was cap day at my preschool that day...of course :). I thought I might cry when I first saw her but all I felt was pure JOY. She was STUNNING. We were in awe. She was beautiful and tiny and perfect and she was OURS. We loved her instantly. Sweet baby girl was everything we had imagined and more. God is so good. We don't deserve her, plain and simple. I have had so many people tell me what great people we are and how lucky she is to have us. And while she may be, let me tell you right now: We are the lucky ones. She is a far greater blessing to us than we will ever be to her. All of a sudden in that moment, IT WAS WORTH IT. Everything we had been through: the pain, the heartache, the excruciatingly long wait, the paperwork, the tears and the desperation...SHE WAS WORTH IT. It all came together in a perfectly orchestrated story when we saw her sweet face.

A year ago, when we were expecting a referral any day, she wasn't even born yet. All of the times we cried out to God, Why?!?!, He was soothing us and telling us to WAIT. She's not ready yet, she's not here yet. Wait. I'm going to knock your socks off. Wait. She's going to be amazing. Wait. She is just for you. Wait. I am knitting her together. Wait. I love you. Wait. My plan is better. Just WAIT. 

We studied every picture (all seven of them!) in detail. Those pictures are like oxygen to us. We soaked it all in.  Her eyes, her lips, her hair, her little hands and feet, her adorable belly, and we got a glimpse of how God feels about us. We come to Him orphaned and helpless with NOTHING to offer and He loves us anyway. Completely and fully, He loves us. Thank you God, and thank you for showing us this in that moment. We are no longer orphans, and neither is she.

Lindsay then began to tell us every single bit of history they have on her: her health history, the circumstances surrounding her birth, her sleep schedule, her eating schedule, her personality, what she likes and doesn't like, how she laughs and how she plays. Every little piece of information is so precious in a situation like this. We loved hearing all about her and I can't wait until I'm the one who knows her more completely than anyone else.

I can't tell you any details, but I can tell you that she had no one. Now she has us, and more importantly, we have her. She is 7 months old TODAY too - Happy 7 months sweet angel!

After we had been on the phone for about 45 minutes and told Lindsay that YES, we wanted to proceed with her adoption, we began calling and texting all of our friends and family! Jason called his parents and they decided they were going to drive down to see pictures and take us out to eat. I skyped my mom at camp to see her reaction when I sent her the pictures. My phone began to blow up with congratulations and texts of people crying and jumping up and down and praising God with us! It was quite possibly the biggest celebration of my life so far. Let me just say right now that we could not have made it through this without our family and friends supporting us and praying for us and listening to us whine and complain and encouraging us. It has taken a village and we are very aware that she is not just our baby...she means so much to so many people.

Satan, you fought hard but YOU LOSE. We are now a family of FIVE! Blessed be the name of the LORD!

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God." Psalm 40:1-3

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Our first family of five photo :) (It was cap day...remember? :)

And the boys are THRILLED by the way. They were a little shocked at first but now could not be more excited about their sister!

Jason and I with our baby girl - we have a daughter!!!

 Nana and Grangoat's first reaction

Holding pictures of their first grand-daughter

When Lori brought Judah back home we showed her pictures, and Jason's brother's family drove over to see pictures and go out to eat with us as well.

And then, our sweet sweet small group. These people were in the trenches with us. Supporting us and praying for us and loving us even when we weren't very loveable. They threw us a celebratory party, complete with It's a Girl signs and pink balloons. Jason cracked open a bottle of wine he'd been saving for over 3 years for this very occasion.

We love you guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now we begin the next phase of waiting. This one will not even be a fraction of how long we waited before, thank goodness. We are waiting for a court date, which is typically assigned 4-6 weeks after referral and about 2-3 weeks out, so maybe in January? Then we'll have to go back about 4-6 weeks later after all of her paperwork is ready to come into the USA and BRING HER HOME. I have a feeling the wait between trips will be the hardest. So we might have her home in March or April, just in time for her 1st birthday. Amazing.

So that's our referral story. Still can't believe it happened. What a Merry Merry Christmas indeed. Perfect timing. We have a daughter! Eeeeek!

A post on her name is hopefully coming soon...